We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
