We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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