She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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