Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize