I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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