If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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