Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
