Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm at about main and main street
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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