O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize