just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
