I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
