I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
