why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
