As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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