So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
