i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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