could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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