College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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