So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
