I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
