Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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