So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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