so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
