He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Randomize
