I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
