4 words: hood of his car
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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