Slut skills are useful in every country.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
