Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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