it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
