Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
