he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
