god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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