and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
