omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
