All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
