We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
