Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
