An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
