he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
