I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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