Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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