I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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