If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Come share oat with me in your robe
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
