Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
