i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
