We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
