Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
