I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
