you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
