It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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