Porn is love you can see.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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