The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
