I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Soap is not a condiment
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
