Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
