I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
