doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
