Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
