sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
