I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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