no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
