too bad you live with your parents still
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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