if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
