last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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