So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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