I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
