Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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